Ever enchanted by the window light at sunset in this place. I've been forcing myself to have some alone time lately. I kind of hate it, which tells me it's just what I need. ●○ 📷: @davidcallenphoto
Ever enchanted by the window light at sunset in this place. I've been forcing myself to have some alone time lately. I kind of hate it, which tells me it's just what I need. ●○ 📷: @davidcallenphoto
One more. Last night's rainbow sunset was lovely. May have been the first time in almost a year that I've felt any real peace - happy simply to be present. I'm glad it brought beauty to so many others too.
One more. Last night's rainbow sunset was lovely. May have been the first time in almost a year that I've felt any real peace - happy simply to be present. I'm glad it brought beauty to so many others too.
In Rainbows 📷: @treydillon
In Rainbows 📷: @treydillon
"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."
"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."
One last look.
One last look.
The Old Sam and the Sea
The Old Sam and the Sea
Creeping on these cool kids in Iceland... two years later.
Creeping on these cool kids in Iceland... two years later.
Today is 4 years on from Robin Williams' death by suicide. I typically share a post on how mental illness doesn't discriminate and how success doesn't make one immune, with an encouragement to get help if you need it and to not be ashamed for it. I s
Today is 4 years on from Robin Williams' death by suicide. I typically share a post on how mental illness doesn't discriminate and how success doesn't make one immune, with an encouragement to get help if you need it and to not be ashamed for it. I still believe that and stand firmly by that encouragement. This time I have more to say. Bear with me, this covers a lot of ground. When Robin passed, it hit so hard. Then again with Chris Cornell. Then Chester Bennington. Anthony Bourdain, etc. I knew none of these people, but their respective work's influence and presence in periods of my life is undeniable. It resonated more and more each time, not so much because I felt I was losing something, but more so because I could relate. It hit close to home - not the willingness to ever end my life, but to know how it feels sometimes to not want to exist. Some days I wish I never did at all. Some days I'm mad I had no say in it. Some days I can't find the silver lining. Some days I feel like I'm a doormat for others and am here just to be a catalyst, left to hurt while they grow. Some days I'm bored of it all. Depression sucks, anxiety sucks, and codependency sucks. The latter especially feels like a perpetual curse for me. It's sneaky because it looks a lot like love and selflessness and humility. It took me years to acknowledge it and understand what it was, then one day it felt like my eyes were opened - I could suddenly recognize it in my life and see it in others from a mile away. (That's something cool about growth, how you can start to see certain things objectively that once were cloudy and amorphous.) But that doesn't mean it went away, just that I knew to be vigilant and mindful. Sometimes I relax there too and it creeps in while I'm busy thinking I have it under control. Again, it's frustrating because it can LOOK a lot like love and selflessness, but it is actually an erosion of confidence and self control. There are some out there who prey upon this to mask their own insecurities, which is awful, and I hope anyone in such a dynamic can break free. (CONTINUED 👇)
"What if it's not happening to you? What if it's happening for you?"
"What if it's not happening to you? What if it's happening for you?"
Very serious work today at the studio on this motorized skateboard standing desk. *makes invisible keyboard typing motion*
Very serious work today at the studio on this motorized skateboard standing desk. *makes invisible keyboard typing motion*
Ever enchanted by the window light at sunset in this place. I've been forcing myself to have some alone time lately. I kind of hate it, which tells me it's just what I need. ●○ 📷: @davidcallenphoto One more. Last night's rainbow sunset was lovely. May have been the first time in almost a year that I've felt any real peace - happy simply to be present. I'm glad it brought beauty to so many others too. In Rainbows 📷: @treydillon "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." One last look. The Old Sam and the Sea Creeping on these cool kids in Iceland... two years later. Today is 4 years on from Robin Williams' death by suicide. I typically share a post on how mental illness doesn't discriminate and how success doesn't make one immune, with an encouragement to get help if you need it and to not be ashamed for it. I s "What if it's not happening to you? What if it's happening for you?" Very serious work today at the studio on this motorized skateboard standing desk. *makes invisible keyboard typing motion*